we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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