they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
