omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
