Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I skipped work to stalk him.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
