I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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