he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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