then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
