How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
