idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize