I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize