Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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