Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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