Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
