Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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