...so i touched it.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
