I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
This house was built for laser tag.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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