Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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