is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
