I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
