You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
