Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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