I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Your cock deserves a montage
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
