I heard we made out
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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