dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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