it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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