Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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