Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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