I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I smell stomach acid.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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