i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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