My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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