I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
