Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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