don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
