Just mADE A PArabola og urine
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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