her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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