Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
