fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
