If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize