You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
