I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize