i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
