dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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