i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
