Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
