I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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