Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
When did angry sex become our thing?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
