Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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