It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
