Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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