the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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