I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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