I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
