I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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