4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
