I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
