He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
