Sponge bath it is.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
