Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
