just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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