eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
