even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
