me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
being pregnant is like rehab
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
