where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
