I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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