It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
